Mary's Story
I am not an expert in all things RAD. I learned what I know about RAD by the sink or swim method. I am a parent of two bio children (ages 10 and 13) and two adopted siblings with RAD (and PTSD, bipolar disorder, ADD/ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, learning disabilities…), placed with us for adoption at ages 11 and 13 (now 14 and 16).
I do have a bachelors degree in Psychology with a focus on child abuse and neglect. I have a Masters in Social Work with a focus on Mental Health. I have worked in a residential treatment center, done homestudies for a foster care agency, worked with the children at a Center for Battered Women, Director of a large preschool (275+ children), trainer in children behavior management, and many other jobs that have nothing to do with kids or social work.
My kids have multiple diagnoses and a major background of trauma and abuse. I've read every book I can get my hands on, sat at the feet of parents in the trenches (both online and IRL – In Real Life), attended years of attachment therapy with my daughter, and tried many different therapies and techniques some of which worked for us and some of which didn't.
When the kids were placed with us, I'd never heard of RAD and we were told only one of our new children even had "attachment issues." Over the last two years their diagnoses and meds have radically changed. The kids were placed in foster care at ages 9 and 10, because their biomom felt they were “out of control.” Biomom, who’d aged out of foster care, has kept their younger biosiblings. We try to maintain some relationships with the biofamily.
I’ve always known I wanted to adopt, and feel truly blessed that my husband was willing. Adopting older children is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but also one of the most rewarding. Because of my childhood I feel I had/ have an attachment disorder and major issues with trust. My husband helped me work through many of these issues, and I feel it helps me be more empathetic to the kids’ needs. It’s been a long journey and of course it’s not over.
I am very excited about being a part of this website and the online mentoring especially. I feel called to provide support and nurturing, and this is what I love to do. Please let me know how I can help you!
